


When He Didn't Come

by wesleyfanfiction_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-07
Updated: 2005-09-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:11:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6457219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesleyfanfiction_archivist/pseuds/wesleyfanfiction_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Post "NFA" couple of ficlets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1/2

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [WesleyFanfiction.net](http://fanlore.org/wiki/WesleyFanFiction.Net). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [WesleyFanfiction.net collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wesleyfanfiction/profile).

He hadn’t come. He was lying here dying and he still hadn’t come. He was the hero, but he hadn’t been there to save him. 

The nod earlier had been their final communication. They hadn’t said goodbye. They already knew it was goodbye. The words would only take away the illusion.

Illyria had been too late, but he hadn’t even come. He was too delirious to see Fred, all he could see was his stupid hair, his hanging forehead, the strong safe arms. He heard his voice tell him that he was his, that he loved him. That was the only lie he wanted to hear, the best lie, the perfect day.

Angel was the bloody hero, he was supposed to sweep in and save the day, but he hadn’t even looked into Wesley’s eyes while he died.

If he came, if he had put even a toe through the door there would have been hope. Who dies when a champion is in the room? Wesley would have had a tiny prayer that Angel would fix things even if they were unfixable. That’s the kind of hero Angel had been. But now… 

Angel couldn’t be a hero. 

He wasn’t there.


	2. 2/2

Words Like Violence

The tiny nod had been enough. If you weren’t Angel or Wesley you would have missed it. It had said all the things he had ever wanted to hear from Wes. _Your faithful servant. I’m sorry. I forgive you. I never doubted you. Take care. Good-bye._ Silence had served them well. For them it said more than they seemed to be able to even when they weren’t hurting each other. They knew they could count on silence to carry their meaning. Silence kept things simple. Kept things quiet. Kept them quiet. Best friends, united in the quiet and the dark.

\- - -

“Any word on Wes?”

He couldn’t even shake his head. He had just looked down, the coward in him rising; he didn’t want to hear the word on Wes. He didn’t want a Yes or a No. If there was a yes and he wasn’t there then that meant… And a no meant they didn’t know, and the not knowing was too much like hope. He could still be alive, and if it turned out that he wasn’t then that little shard of hope would gut him, it wouldn’t take even a little nod. Better to be happy for silence.

\- - -

“Wesley’s dead.”

For a long moment he didn’t hear her. She couldn’t have said it anyway. It wasn’t true. Angel was still alive, how could Wesley be dead? Then he heard nothing. It was all a dizzy roar, blinding him. He couldn’t even see the rain. He couldn’t see himself or the raging darkness cascading towards them. He couldn’t hear himself, he couldn’t hear Wesley’s voice in his head. For him, Wesley only existed as a warrior, as invincible as himself. They fought together. Now he would have to fight alone. And start again without a hero at his back.


End file.
